Have you noticed when you are working to blossom your beautiful uniqueness, that you quickly get a string of haters? Have you? Oh c’mon, I know that it’s not just me. So, if you are a doormat, meek, humble, quiet, wallflower, pushover then it’s okay. Once you get out of your shell and go out to show your inner fierceness, then … it could be a problem for some. If you are working towards a dream, watch out!
Here I have a love letter for the haters:
They call me arrogant,
They call me rude,
They say that I’m rough around the edges and hard to talk to.
Where were they when the world around me stepped on me?
Where were they when I was made fun of, ridiculed, trashed and told I was nothing?
So what if I walk with my head a little taller?
So what if I smirk at the strength of my steps?
That makes me arrogant?
The fact that I feel that I can do things – I can make a difference, and I have that confidence and exude it – makes me arrogant?
I laugh with my warrior spear in hand.
So they say ‘she is rude’ – Am I?
I still say please and thank you, excuse me and I’m sorry.
Am I not meek enough? Is my tone all wrong because I speak with deliberate strength?
Am I rude because I’m honest? I don’t say every single thing on my mind, but I will not sugar coat things to just ‘uplift’under false pretenses.
Where were they when I was as ‘sweet as honeysuckle’, and naïve ; and the rolling of the eyes would appear when I would simply enter the room?
Where were they when they thought I was a nothing, because of lack of rites of passage?
Where were they when they thought I was a nothing, because I was born in a different land?
Were they there when they would talk and gossip, slander and demean, simply because of differences — from them?
Where they there when dating me was not good because I’m not from a mainstream belief?
Were they around when I was searching for my ancestry and they thought it was silly?
Conform and be like everyone else I was told… and I just couldn’t. My head just couldn’t. I just can’t.
Should I apologize now that my voice commands respect that should have been given already?
Should I say sorry because I don’t look down when the world walks in front of me?
Was I a little too direct when they came to me with negativity? Hmm, should I apologize for that?
Was my face too wrinkled when they came to me with something that is morally wrong and wanted me to just agree with them, just because?
Should I apologize for not being their venting board when they wanted to just complain and spit out problems and drama into the universe, and really not reach for any type of solution? Should I?
Oh? In order to be more approachable, should I just allow their negativity, bad energy, and dark clouds to be spoken into my world without a stopper? Is that what would make me more approachable?
Where were you when they are drowning me in their problems without really wanting to improve anything? Where?
I’m holding on to my warrior’s spear now while I’m looking on…
I am a woman.
I am a mother.
I am a wife.
I am a sister.
I am a worker.
I am an entrepreneur.
I am funny.
I am sensitive.
I am loving.
I am pensive.
I am a reader.
I am a student.
I am protective.
I am a doer.
I am an explorer.
I am …..
I am far too many things to just be arrogant, rude and unapproachable.
I’m not arrogant – I’m strong and proud.
I’m not better than they are, I’m just so proud of where I came from and where I am today, and even more excited of where I am headed.
I’m not rude – I’m just filtering the information to keep out the negative and hold on to the positive. I just have to get from my point A to my point B.
I’m not hard to talk to – If you want to talk about the world, your world, my world, and contribute to making it better, then I’m all ears. If you have to vent, I am here… just tell me and I’m here. If you want to say something to me… just say it, just be respectful about it.
I am just working towards my dreams, and I am in full force. I find that amazingly, when I’m after a dream ‘they’ are not happy.
Where they around to see all of this? Are you there to see them too?
Am I perfect? Absolutely not, but I am always working towards being a better version of me. What are they doing? When was the last time that they did any soul searching? Oh? They can’t remember? When was the last time they read a book? Oh, they can’t remember that one either? When was the last time they applied any advice given? Did they just roll their eyes? Hmmm…
I find that if they have too much time on their hands to complain about another, then maybe they should… Look inside and really improve on themselves. Read a positive book. (No really, read something…. )Do they have a dream? They can spend that time going after that dream. Do they spend their time watching TV and thinking that it’s real life for them? Do they just have a boring life and can’t be happy for someone else’s? (This would be a good time for them to go after a dream.)Don’t they have something to smile about? If they did, then my pursuing my dreams would not provoke so much ‘hate’. I say they, because you would never do such things… hmmm.
Finding yourself sometimes is hard. It might be as gentle as a lotus flower falling gently to a pond, or as rough as lightning striking a tree and splitting it in half.
The journey is unique to each person. Don’t worry that your journey is different from someone else’s. That is what makes your life pretty darn awesome.
In short to all my haters and lovely admirers as well.
Thank you! No, really – Thank you! Thank you for noticing my strength, my voice and my individuality. Thank you for reminding me that following my dreams is the place to be. Thank you for reminding me that a person (any person) is multi-faceted and not just one thing. Thank you for letting me know, that I have grown from their doormat to a powerful, strong, positive, entrepreneurial cultural woman. Thank you!
So be you… Be wonderful, and be Culturally Delicious!
Now, I cannot wait to hear from you! What did YOU think of this post? How do you deal with the haters in your world? Write down a comment below and of course go to the Olubunmi Creations Facebook page and let’s continue to chat there!